Looking up

Photo by: Cheryl Spacemonkey Ng (Kirkstall Abbey, Leeds, UK)

Hi, how have you been? I've been a lot busy with the countless dinners I have been having out with my friends and in my free time working. So pretty busy but I have great news I want to share.

Things are going a lot better around here. I am not as stressed as I was before about my workload too so that is fantastic! In fact my supervisor cut down a lot of my work so that I can cope after I shared with her my struggles with having so many big projects under me when I am officially leaving soon.

Also, I am going to start the countdown to something really exciting. THE END OF MY INTERNSHIP!!! Not that I have no more school obligations/ requirements/ whatnots after the official internship is over but a 2500 word essay about my experience? Easy. (Well, easier than all this definitely) Once that is in, I am out of school forever!

I am not going to be coy about it. I am afraid of the future. In school everything was easy and provided. I never had to worry about being an adult yet I was treated like one. Things are going to be so different. I am not only going to be treated like an adult but I am also going to have to behave like one. On that note, I also need to stock up on more presentable clothes. I have been cycling through the same few nice shirts, pants and dresses throughout my internship and I am going to need more than that. Kissing the comfort of sloshing into lectures in pajamas and slippers goodbye is one step I am quite apprehensive to take but it was going to come anyways so there wont be a point in complaining about it. Besides, I know I need to rid all that for the exciting life and future I am promised.

Hence, I am looking up and trusting everything on my sovereign God. Also, I am excited about the life that is awaiting me. It's going to be scary but all so riveting at the same time.

5 MORE DAYS!

Help me.

I do not want to do this anymore.

I feel like I am sinking into a pool and just let it overwhelm me.

My chest feels tight. My heart is beating too fast. I am gasping for air every 5 minutes.

My head  hurts.

For once, the comfort of food feels like a burden on time that  do not have.

I am not depressed or suicidal.



I am stressed. So stressed.

They tell me stress is good for me as it pushes me to do better but I have been pushed too far that I think I need to collapse so they know.