Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Looking up

Photo by: Cheryl Spacemonkey Ng (Kirkstall Abbey, Leeds, UK)
Hi, how have you been? I've been a lot busy with the countless dinners I have been having out with my friends and in my free time working. So pretty busy but I have great news I want to share.

Things are going a lot better around here. I am not as stressed as I was before about my workload too so that is fantastic! In fact my supervisor cut down a lot of my work so that I can cope after I shared with her my struggles with having so many big projects under me when I am officially leaving soon.

Also, I am going to start the countdown to something really exciting. THE END OF MY INTERNSHIP!!! Not that I have no more school obligations/ requirements/ whatnots after the official internship is over but a 2500 word essay about my experience? Easy. (Well, easier than all this definitely) Once that is in, I am out of school forever!

I am not going to be coy about it. I am afraid of the future. In school everything was easy and provided. I never had to worry about being an adult yet I was treated like one. Things are going to be so different. I am not only going to be treated like an adult but I am also going to have to behave like one. On that note, I also need to stock up on more presentable clothes. I have been cycling through the same few nice shirts, pants and dresses throughout my internship and I am going to need more than that. Kissing the comfort of sloshing into lectures in pajamas and slippers goodbye is one step I am quite apprehensive to take but it was going to come anyways so there wont be a point in complaining about it. Besides, I know I need to rid all that for the exciting life and future I am promised.

Hence, I am looking up and trusting everything on my sovereign God. Also, I am excited about the life that is awaiting me. It's going to be scary but all so riveting at the same time.

5 MORE DAYS!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Help me.

I do not want to do this anymore.

I feel like I am sinking into a pool and just let it overwhelm me.

My chest feels tight. My heart is beating too fast. I am gasping for air every 5 minutes.

My head  hurts.

For once, the comfort of food feels like a burden on time that  do not have.

I am not depressed or suicidal.



I am stressed. So stressed.

They tell me stress is good for me as it pushes me to do better but I have been pushed too far that I think I need to collapse so they know.

Friday, January 30, 2015

So much to do, so little time

People to meet, 
Clients to asses,
PILES of case recordings to complete,
by PILES I meant for it to be a pun.
Because that is how I feel about it.

My sanity has so little left to ward off the exhaustion,
Should I just let it take over? 
Sounds like a plan.



To my readers: No, I am not upset or emotional or suicidal. I just am so TIRED. I actually think it will be nice to pass out in the office so that I can be sent home to sleep through the day. Of course, I am still a warrior at heart so... LET'S DO THIS. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

48 hours

Internship, overnight part time job and internship.

I am not going to be able to rest for 2 whole days. I hope I will survive. I really am going to need a lot of food to get through the next gazillion hours before my head can rest on a pillow. 

Wish me the best! 

2 years

It has been TWO YEARS since anything has gone onto this blog.

Actually, I have not been THAT busy but like I said in my previous post, I was considering letting it die off. I do have some drafts, I just never felt like blogging anymore. The only reason why I decided to revive this is so that I can slack off in my internship looking busy. Typing away like a crazy maniac pretending to hit deadlines. It's a good thing my desk is positioned at such an angle that literally no one can peek at my computer screen. In fact, I am also in control of the refrigerator and the printer. So maybe secretly, I hold more power in the office as an intern than my colleagues would admit.

Isn't it funny? If you read this and follow it by my last few posts, it is almost like a time machine. Transporting in time with me in sudden bouts of time. Within the last year itself, I was employed to my first job, went on 2 internships, had my room renovated, turned 18 and broke up with my 4 year long boyfriend. So, a lot has happened and I have grown up a lot I suppose.

Well, as you already know, I am currently slacking off at work and I chanced upon a post on facebook that seemed interesting. You know, those chain posts where you have to share about your life and such then tag 10 more people to continue the chain?

I hated those.

They never made sense to me and they were such a waste of time. However, I am up for some mindless task to kill time and look busy so... I DECIDED TO DO IT.

It wouldn't be too bad to share with my readers a little about my life actually. In fact, I have decided to do it TWICE, One for 2012 (which would be striked out) and one for right now. I have changed so much. Well, if I don't strike it it means that my answer still have not changed.

Here goes.

Name: Read the profile. Cheryl Spacemonkey Ng
Age: 16+ 19 going on 20
Birthdate: 17 Dec 1995
Present address: Over the rainbow. Whereever I am travelling in, home base, Singpaore.
Rules: ' Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a note with 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. '  I still these rules are too silly. Always have thought that and I still do. I think it is a sad attempt at asking for attention and people to read about your life.
WHAT WAS YOUR...
1.last beverage: 2012 was a long time ago Water
2.last phone call: Some friend which I will talk about how much I love he or she.  Mom (I still love my friends but you know,)
3.last text message: Same as question 2 An Aussie friend that refuses to be named here. (Because confidentiality also became a thing to me)
4.Last song I listened to: Some silly pop song about love. Probably Katy Perry. The Shadow proves the sunshine (Oh, also, my taste in music has drastically changed from pop and disney to rock, alt rock, punk rock and punk. I guess you can say I'm more of a rocker chick now.)
5.Last time you cried: 2012 was a long time ago  When a friend got hurt. Its a painful route to learn how to love others.

HAVE YOU EVER...
6. dated someone twice: NOPE (Hi five 2012 self, first thing we agreed on!)
7. Been cheated on: YEPP (Didn't change because it happened in 2011)
8: kissed someone and regretted it: I wish  Never kissed and been kissed and to be honest, totally happy with it.
9: lost someone special: Yepp ): (Dad, in 2007)
10: been depressed: Who isn’t depressed before?  I have been sad, never depressed. People need to stop throwing that word around.
11: been drunk and threw up: Drinking is gross Yepp. So urgh.

LIST THREE FAV COLORS ...
12: Eggplant
13: Black
14: Maroon Blues (all the blue hues)
HAVE YOU...
15: made a new friend: YES AND IM SO EXCITED  I am always making new friends... This question does not make sense
16: fallen out of love: YES  Define falling out of love.
17: laughed until you cried: So often.
18: Met someone who changed you: Yes  People change me all the time. (I have grown to realise that all these people I meet in my life, they change me a little each time and I believe it is always for the better or for something I need at that point. Even if they dont change me, I'd like to believe I changed them in some positive ways.)
19. found out who your true friends were: YES and we will be best friends forever and ever I think there are too many and I dont have to "find" who they are. As long as they are genuine, they are true and undoubtedly my friends.
20. found someone was talking about you:Yes and I am so hurt *enters a name* People talk about me all the time. Sometimes good, other times bad but I don't really care. It is way too trivial. Of course, the good is always nice to know.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friends' list : Ew hell no. Nope (:

GENERAL...
22 How many people in your FB friends list do you know in real life: I only add people I know. I have 1140 approved friends. I dont know all of them but most I still connect with I have had at least a brush with.
24 Do you hv any pets: Nope 
25. Do you want to change your name: I want to legalise Spacemonkey My official name shall remain as it is. I want future employers to take me seriously. (I still love the Spacemonkey though)
26. What did you do for your last birthday: 2011 was a long time ago but if I am not wrong I went out for dinner with 3 good friends Celebrated it at church camp. Was surprised with a little tub of ice creamby everyone I love in church.
27. What time did you wake up today: 2012 was a long time ago 7am, which made me 45 minutes late for work. Blah.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: 2012 was a long time ago but I was probably procrastinating some project. 
29. Name something you cannot wait for: My birthday! Graduation and Europe trip!
30. Last time you saw your mother: The night before
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Everything I am quite content. Expect maybe I want to work on my patience.
32. What are you listening to right now: Some TV programme going on The rhythm of the entire office frantically typing out reports and case notes.
33. Have you ever told to a person named Tom: THIS makes no sense at all. (Even my 2012 self will agree with me)
34. What's getting on my nerves right now: Someone I suppose. The hunger I'm bearin becausemy metabolis decided to go on a purge and drain all my strength. GAHH.
37. Nickname: Spacemonkey (Sitll is and always will be. With variations like "Space")
38. Relationship status: Complicated Single and so not ready to mingle. So chill out boys. 
39. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius  Zodiac signs ares so weird.
40. He or she : She  This question is too general for me to truly understand the direction I need to take to answer this.
41. Primary: Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary School Primary what? Please be more specific.
42. Secondary: Bukit view Secondary Primary what? Please be more specific
43. College: Nope. I go to Nanyang Polytechnic though.
44. Hair color: Dark Brown Black with brown/ red hues.
45. Long or short: Long  Are we still talking about my hair or what?
46. Height: 5"2
47. Do you hv a crush on someone: Yes. 
49. Piercings: They've closed.
50. Tattoos: Tattoos are gross and bad for you.  Havent found anything I want to have a lifelong ink commitment with,
51. Righty or lefty : Righty  BE SPECIFIC. YOU are really getting on my nerves with such brief questions.

FIRSTS...
52: first surgery: Never had one Stiches in 2013 when i flew off a bike in Australia
53. First piercing: Ear lobes, 6 years old.
54. First best friend: I don't know. Maybe my childhood playmate, my cousin? (I have had so many friends in my life. I really dont remember who my first BFF is.)
56. First vacation: 9 months old to Phuket. (I am not considering road trips to Johor Bahru as a vacation)
57. First pair of trainers: What is this question even? I had trainers from the moment my parents decided that I needed them!

RIGHT NOW...
59. Eating: I wish (Sigh, the love for food never seem to die)
61. I'm about to: Watch more TV Fall asleep at work HELP.
62. Listenin to: Some TV programme I suppose  3 doors down (I feel like I have already answered this)
63. Waiting for: Dinner time (Some things will not ever change)
67. Lips or eyes: Lips I have both right now. I really dont know what you are asking for!
68. Hugs or kisses: Kisses donottouchmegoaway
69. Shorter or taller: ?????? (I would not be able to answer you in both years because, WHAT kind of a question is this?? I want shorter work hours for the same amount of money and taller mountains to climb. WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU ASKING?) 
70. Older or younger: ???? (
71. Romantic or spontaneous:Romance <3  I love the thrill of spontaneity and it is my version of romance.
72. Nice stomach or nice legs: Stomach On me or on others? SPECIFY! (If it is meant to be for me then legs. Because girls with nice legs always have a nice figure to match)
73. Hookup or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: ??? (I really have no idea what this is even asking)

HAVE YOU EVER...
76. Kissed a stranger: HELL NO I'm not easy but sometimes I wonder how it would feel.
77. Drank hard liquor: Alcohol is bad for you and I will never touch it. Yeah, I love whiskies and Long Islands.
78. Lost contacts/ glasses: Too many times.
79. Kiss on first date: Nahh doubt that is something I will ever be cool with no matter how much I want to.
80. Broke someone's heart : Nobody likes me enoughfor that Yeah, mom's.
81. Been arrested: Never and hopefully it will remain that way!
82. Turned someone down: Yeah, pity we stopped talking after. Yeah, we are still friends though (Because like myself the people I meet are also a lot more mature)
84. Fallen for a fwen: Yes </3 I do not know of this "fwen" that you are mentioning. 
85. Yourself: Have I ever myself what?

DO YOU BELIEVE...
87. Miracles: Always
88. Love at first sight:Yes  I dont believe you can feel such a heavy emotion at a glance of someone.
89. Heaven: Always
90. Santa Claus : Um, if he is real then he is quite very mean to poor children who cannot afford chimneys. So then I dislike him.
91. Kiss on first date: Refer to 79.
92. Angels: Always  Yes, I'm pretty sure I believe I exist. (;

Well, that is all folks! I hope you have learned a little about me other than the fact that I really dislike working in the office. Have a good week, day, month , whatnot.

Till my next post then! 
See you!